Co-parenting can be a challenging endeavor, especially when dealing with an ex-partner who may not always be reasonable or cooperative. Whether you’ve been through a divorce or have never been married, the primary goal remains the same: to provide a stable and loving environment for your child. Achieving this can be difficult when communication with your ex is strained or confrontational. However, with the right strategies, you can navigate these challenges and ensure that your child’s well-being remains the top priority.

1. Utilize Technology for Communication

In today’s digital age, there are numerous tools and platforms available that can facilitate communication without the need for direct interaction. Consider using:

  • Dedicated Co-Parenting Apps: Apps like OurFamilyWizard, Coparently, and Talking Parents offer features like shared calendars, expense tracking, and messaging. These platforms provide a neutral space for parents to communicate and organize shared responsibilities.

  • Email: Setting up a dedicated email account solely for co-parenting matters can help keep conversations focused and professional. It also provides a written record of all communications.

2. Keep Conversations Child-Centric

When communicating with your ex, always keep the conversation centered on your child’s needs and well-being. Avoid discussing personal grievances or past conflicts. By keeping the focus on your child, you reduce the chances of conversations escalating into arguments.

3. Establish Clear Boundaries

Set clear boundaries regarding communication times and methods. For instance, you might agree to only communicate through email or a specific app, and only during certain hours. This can prevent unexpected calls or messages that might catch you off guard.

4. Choose Neutral Exchange Locations

When it’s time to exchange custody of your child, choose a neutral, public location. Places like a local park, a public library, or even a shopping center can provide a neutral ground that minimizes the potential for conflict. Some communities even have supervised exchange centers designed specifically for this purpose.

5. Consider Using a Third Party

If direct exchanges are consistently problematic, consider using a trusted third party to facilitate the handoff. This could be a mutual friend, family member, or a professional service. The key is to choose someone who can remain neutral and prioritize the child’s best interests.

6. Document Everything

Keep a record of all communications and exchanges. This not only provides clarity in case of misunderstandings but can also be useful if legal issues arise in the future. Documenting can be as simple as saving emails or taking notes after an exchange.

7. Seek Mediation or Counseling

If communication challenges persist, consider seeking mediation or counseling. A neutral third party can provide guidance, help establish effective communication strategies, and offer solutions to ongoing issues.


Co-parenting with an unreasonable ex can be challenging, but with the right strategies, it’s possible to minimize conflict and ensure that your child’s needs are met. Remember, the ultimate goal is to provide a stable, loving environment for your child, and sometimes that means finding ways to work around communication challenges.

To discuss retaining our firm for your divorce or child custody case please schedule a consultation with us today.